Baby's Life lessons

As usual, Elton laid his hand on my belly tonight to feel the baby's kicks, turns and punches as he spoke to it. It almost seems like our baby knows it's his daddy talking to him and wants to interact the only way it can right now - by kicking me! 

I whispered excitedly, "We're going to meet our baby face to face in three months! Can you believe it?". Elton smiled and slowly said, "It's going to be the first time you'll understand how much your parents love you." I was stunned to silence. More often than not, I've always thought of myself to have turned out so differently from my parents. Hardly have I thought of myself to become like them. But somehow as I responded, the words flowed out like water, "True." It was the only thing I could think of to say. Amazing. My baby is going to help me see the world in a whole new way. 

Chicken Soup

I've been reading this book my sister-in-law, Selina bought me called "Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother's Soul". It's truly been a blessing. Each story seemed to have been written just for someone like me - someone who's going through all the ups and downs of pregnancy, missing the life I used to have yet excited about the new life I'm entering into, frustrated about feeling exhausted all the time yet amused each time I feel my baby kick within my belly, exasperated about not being able to reach my toes anymore yet loving it everytime Elton helps me wear my socks, and nervous about parenting for the very first time, hoping I don't screw up too much yet somehow knowing deep inside that this baby is the missing piece in my life. I groan about the tribulations of pregnancy some days but then I'm reminded of the millions of expecting mothers out there in the world going through the same thing and I feel privileged and blessed again. As with any woman about to be a mother for the very first time, it's a pot of mixed feelings. 
This story I read today by Gayle Sorensen Stringer that really touched me heart: 
                In my previous life, before I was reincarnated as a mother of three, I wore clothes that fit and matched.  wore makeup and curled my hair every day. I had my eyebrows waxed and my nails done. But no one gave me graham cracker kisses. No one every told me how pretty I look in sweats.
                In my previous life, I read Time magazine and the newspaper. My repartee of regular television viewing transcended Arthur and The Magic School Bus, and I devoured all the bestselling novels. But on one asked me to read The Velveteen Rabbit at bedtime. No one ever requested The Little Engine that Could.
                 In my previous life, I had a career and friends who were more than three feet tall. People asked for my opinions and entrusted me with important projects and confidential information. I had conversations where not once was mentioned snacks or potties or play dates. But no one asked me my favorite color or why the sky is so blue. No one ever wanted me to sing.
                 In my previous life, I had a life. I frequented aerobics classes, restaurants and the theatre. I hosted parties where the themes had nothing to do with Star Wars or Winnie-the-Pooh. I shopped for myself and slept late on weekends. But no one made me Valentine cards. No one ever gave me dandelion bouquets.
                 In my previous life, I traveled, and my destinations did not hinge on theme parks or swimming pools or nap schedules. The Mayan ruins of the Yucatan, snorkeling in the Caribbean, museum hopping in Italy, Kabuki Theater in Japan...these were my playgrounds. I was the queen of the road and my destiny. But no one asked me to push the swing higher. No one ever invited me to splash in puddles or roll in the snow.
                 In my previous life, I held my emotions in check. I did not stomp my feet or grit my teeth. I could not easily be diminished to tears or tirades. I considered my demeanor as laid-back and easygoing. But no one made me care enough to cry. No one ever just loved me, anyway.
                 In my previous life, I was free. I could carve my own path and follow my dreams. Nothing stood in my way. But the path was unsure and the vision blurred. No one ever gave me purpose enough to soar, Now, I endlessly rearrange piles of laundry, crumbs and toys. I am pulled and tugged, hassled and harassed, stepped on and sat upon, and desperate for some solitude. I am jean-clad and juice-stained, bleary-eyed and graying, underpaid and overwhelmed. And sometimes I wonder who I am and what I've become. Then, one of my children shouts, "Mommy, I need you!" and it is perfectly clear.
                I am the center of the Universe. I am MOM.

Big Island tour

My friends Usha and Peter recently came to visit me from Switzerland. So it was the perfect opportunity for me to tour around Oahu to places I still had not seen. We also made a trip to the Big Island where Kilauea Volcano, a live volcano still continues to erupt and shapes the island to this day. It made me realize again, what an amazingly beautiful place Hawaii is and how fortunate I am to be surrounded by such beauty here. So different from the fast paced life in the big cities I'd been gravitating to and energized by in the past. I finally find myself learning to appreciate the slower pace of life here. However, nothing stays the same. Who knows how long I'll stay here. Perhaps there is a time and place for everything. For now, perhaps this is a good break...

Sunset at Sunset Beach at Northbeach on Oahu

Usha and Peter, enjoying the sunset at Sunset Beach on the northbeach area of Oahu 

Once we arrived on the Big Island at Kona on the west coast, we began a road trip along the north coast past a quaint little town that seemed lost in the 1950s called Hawi. Then we got a little lost and somehow ended up at this place - the Palolu lookout at Hapuu Bay. There was a hiking trail that led to the black sand beach below. We couldn't resist and began our hike down. The view was beyond spectacular.

Palolu Lookout of Hapuu Bay on the northeast coast 

View towards the valley at Hapuu Bay while hiking down to the beach below 

A stunning black sand beach, created from a volcanic eruption in the past

Another amazing landscape  of Waipio Valley at the end of the Honoka'a-Waipio road on the northeast coast 

The next day, we drove south along the west coast to another infamous black sand beach - Punalu'u Black sand Beach. The beach is too rocky for swimming though the deep blue water was tempting but it's where the sea turtles lay around in the sun. That was a pretty cool sight.

Punalu'u Black sand Beach on the southwest coast of Big Island 

Punalu'u black sand Beach

Passing by the Puako Bay area on the west side of the Big Island, we stopped to walk along a portion of the Ala Kahakai trail to see interesting ancient petroglyphs left by the Hawaiians before there were road on the island. These petroglyphs were revered as sacred charms that protected the travelers from harm and evil spirits.  

Petroglyphs left by the ancient Hawaiians on this ancient trail that once hugged the west coast of the Big Island

We stayed at the Volcano Village for a couple nights and got a chance to see the glow from Kīlauea Volcano which erupted in 1952 and still erupts occasionally to this day! Thankfully, the wind wasn't blowing the sulfuric fumes our way that night.

One of the many craters n the Volcano Park with a live volcano behind

Kilauea Volcano during the day

Kilauea volcano glow at night

Another live volcano within the Volcano Park

A bizarre sight within the Volcanic park where there was only lava from horizon to horizon, barren of any vegetation

A natural volcanic formation of an arch created by the crashing sea waves

Entire shelfs of lava have collapsed into the ocean before so we were warned to proceed with caution

A natural lava formation called Pele's Hair, created when the lava cools as it flows

A natural ground explosion as the lava below cools at a different temperature from the lava on top

The scenic road that once was here in a lush expensive neighborhood, ending abruptly with the lava flowing through

This place once used to be a lush tropical neighborhood for the rich, now covered by miles of lava 

The different colors of the lava up close, formed by minerals like copper, cobalt, sulphur and calcium

Lava Trees Park in Pahoa in the Puna District of the Big Island. It preserves lava molds of the tree trunks that were formed when a lava flow swept through a forested area in 1790. Somehow, these petrified lava logs were an elegant reminder of the trees that once lived here before the live trees that exist there now stand.

Petrified tree stumps at the Lava Trees State Park

Beautiful jurassic trees at the Lava Trees State Park in the Puna District

This Ahalanui Hot Spring area is a natural hot spring salt water pool area because of the volcanic heat from below, making it a comfortable swim, as fresh water from the sea pours in. I didn't take a dip this time but I hope to return one day and lounge in the water for a long long time.

Ahalanui Hot Spring Park at Pahoa (East coast of the Big Island) 

Ahalanui Hot Spring Park 

God said NO!

I was really touched by this poem which a friend shared with me recently. 

I ASKED GOD TO TAKE AWAY MY HABIT

God said, No.

It is not for me to take away

but for you to give it up.

I ASKED GOD TO MAKE MY HANDICAPPED CHILD WHOLE

God said, No.

His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I ASKED GOD TO GRANT ME PATIENCE

God said, No.

Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;

it isn't granted, it is learned.

I ASKED GOD TO SPARE ME PAIN

God said, No.

Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares

and brings you closer to me.

I ASKED GOD TO GIVE ME HAPPINESS

God said, No.

I give you blessings;

Happiness is up to you.

I ASKED GOD TO MAKE MY SPIRIT GROW

God said, No.

You must grow on your own,

but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I ASKED GOD FOR ALL THINGS THAT I MIGHT ENJOY LIFE

God said, No.

I will give you life so you may enjoy all things.

I ASKED GOD TO HELP ME LOVE OTHERS,

AS MUCH AS HE LOVES ME.

God said...Ahhh, finally you have the idea.

Psalm 23

It's one thing to know about God and it's another thing to know God personally. This story I read recently really inspired me. Thought I'd share it:


                 A story is told of a talent show held in a small country church many years ago. Two performances stood out in people's minds that evening: the first was a visitor from the city. He was a seasoned professional actor, well trained in the shakespearean tradition. Stepping up front, he cleared his throat, and in a deep, resonant voice, the Twenty-third Psalm echoed throughout the chapel. The actor recited the classic psalm with sweeping gestures, masterful poise, and flattering eloquence. He concluded to the brisk applause of a thrilled audience. 
                The pastor let a moment pass as a brief afterglow ensued. Then the pastor nodded his head toward a farmer near the back door. "Joseph, would you be next?" the pastor said.
               "Aw, shucks," the farmer relied. "I don't know nuthin'."
               "Sure you do," the pastor said. "Come on up, Joseph."
Others joined in the coaxing until sheer embarrassment forced the farmer forward. Fidgeting from side to side, he half mumbled, "Shucks, I don't know much; but all I can think to do is quote the same psalm as this other man did. I'm not much one for reading, and it's the only one I ever learned by heart. I'm afraid this other man beat me to it."
                "Well, share it again, then," the pastor encouraged, and soon others were echoing the request.
                The farmer was in his early sixties. Hard times had fallen on his life and little farm but he remained godly and soft-spoken, a man who never complained. Swallowing hard, he stammered and started with his own paraphrase. "The Lord is my Shepherd and 'cause of that one thing, I figured I have everything I need." Detouring on a side note he continued. "Y'all know that my dear wife died six years ago. When my Helen passed, I didn't think I could go on without her. But God never left me and He reminded me that I was gonna be just fine. He said He'd be there for the kids and me, and He was."
                The farmer paused to remember which verse he was on, then continued, "He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still streams. He restores my soul. He leads me..." The farmer paused as his thoughts were interrupted by yet another remembrance. "Y'all know that when the war broke out, my boys felt it right to join up. The day they left was the last day I saw them alive. I run the farm alone now...But the Lord goes before me and prepares my table. I'm never truly alone. And when I don't think I have much left, my cup always overflows."
                Then concluded the Twenty-third Psalm: "Surely goodness and mercy will follow me and I look forward to dwelling in the house of the Lord, and I know it will be my home too, and my wife's and my boys'...forever."
                Without anyone noticing, a profound silence had filled the room; the kind when a deep respect is the only response you can give. It's the kind of silence when you don't know what to do, so you don't do anything at all. Joseph sat down, and no one moved. Then slowly, the professional actor made his way to the front again. Standing for a moment as if to find the words appropriate enough to disturb the silence, he spoke: "I may know the Shepherd's Psalm, but this man" he pointed at the farmer - "he knows the Shepherd, and that makes all the difference."
                 Knowing about God and knowing Him personally are galaxies apart. One might bring notoriety or even fame, but the other brings depth. Recognize the difference and choose well. That one decision will make all the difference.

Pre-marriage Class

A woman signed up for this class. A few days later, her fiance called the class instructor to cancel. He said, "I'm in my 50s and was married before so I've been there, done that. I've danced the dance and I don't think I will get anything out of this class so we're backing out."  I've just started going to a pre-marriage class with Elton. To be brutally honest, I've always been skeptical about these classes in the past. Everytime I heard a friend talking about it, I kind of just rolled my eyes and thought, "Oh boy, another silly recommendation by a church." But this time, call it curiosity, age or perhaps just being tired of going through too many failed relationships, I figured it couldn't hurt. Elton's openness to go actually generated more interest to endure it for the next eight weeks. Since we've started, I've realized how wrong I was with my skepticism. Each week of self-analysis has opened up discussions on how important communication is between 'life partners'. We have weekly readings as homework and even exercises to complete, prompting us to answer brutally honest questions about ourselves. I've often been surprised to learn things about myself in these introspective moments.  As much as we dread putting aside approximately an hour a week to do our homework and complete exercises, these personal discussions have become the most intimate moments we've shared, opening ourselves up in a way we probably would never broach, either out of shyness or just pure lack of time. It's shown me that no matter how right someone feels about something, it doesn't warrant being self-righteous and putting his/her partner down with hurtful words, dismissing their opinion or disrespecting the person overly or even subtly, which can often hurt even more. I'm learning how crucial it is for marriage to last in the long run, to consciously choose to respect my partner as an individual with their own thoughts and reasons for their actions and to realize that we are partners in reaching an understanding that we can both live with in the long run. 


We invest so much on all kinds of classes and celebrate passing exams and yet, we take this 'know-it-all' stance on marriage classes, when we cannot even agree on a universal definition of what 'Love' is! The fact is, we are individuals who are constantly changing. Nothing in life stays the same. Why should we think that we humans are any different. Life's circumstances, people we meet, things we see and hear, the birth of children, added responsibilities and pressures - all affect us, slowly changing our opinions, ideas, motivations, feelings and assumptions as we grow. Often times, these elements cause two individuals to grow apart.  I've discovered that some people take weekend marriage refresher classes every every once a year or couple years. Sounds like a good idea to me. Allows us to step back, refocus on each other, reassess our goals, priorities and get re-aligned with each other's feelings and direction in life. Because if not, marriage can be a very lonely and hurtful place. We can't create a perfect marriage but we can have a better marriage, if we have the courage to change....

Beautiful

I just learned that I can create a playlist of favorites videos in Youtube today. That way, I can always revisit them whenever I log into my account. Wish I knew about this neat took sooner! 


Stumbled upon this video when I was looking up one of my favorite Christian singers and was so blessed. Sometimes, God speaks in such a small, still voice that it stuns me to silence. This was one of those days. Click on this beautiful song written and sung by Kari Jobe called Beautiful.

Ultrasound again

We went for our second ultrasound today. It was amazing to see the baby so well formed already at only 5 months of age. I was amazed by how much it moves or perhaps my baby is extremely fidgety!  It was turning on it's side, to the front and moving its hands around constantly every second! One moment, the hand was on the neck, then it moved above the head, then to the face. Couldn't believe all the fingers were formed already and all the limbs look so strong. At one point, it was kicking its leg like it was throwing a tantrum. I wish I could feel it moving but I still can't feel a single thing at this point. The nurse said some mothers don't feel anything until the 7th month. Can't wait for it to get bigger so I can feel it!

Click on the play button to see the baby's heartbeat

Click on the play button to see the video of the baby sucking its thumb

Click on the play button to see the baby breathing

sucking on its thumb

This is a 3D rendition of the baby at 6oz and 8in(20cm) long. Contrary to popular belief the long object at the bottom is the umbilical cord and not something else...

It already has facial features and we got this picture when it opened its mouth for a moment

Amniocentesis

                Amniocentesis is a procedure that allows a pregnant mother to be tested for certain kinds of child birth defects. Every human is born with 46 chromosomes which make up their DNA. 23 from the father and 23 from the mother. However, when babies are born with more or less chromosomes, it suffers from a certain genetic defect as a result of the chromosome abnormality. One of these is down syndrome. Women above the age of 35 are encouraged to get 'Amnio's. Basically, they stuck a needle into my belly, into the placenta's water pouch where the baby is and extracted one ounce (two tablespoons) of liquid. That liquid contains samples of the baby's skin which contains DNA information on the baby. That's what get's tested. The results come within one to ten days. The ultrasound is on while it's being done to make sure the baby doesn't get poked with the needle. It felt like a sharp ant bite when the needle went in but besides that, it wasn't really painful and didn't take more than one minute.
                I asked the doctor today if Amnios are commonly requested by patients. He said no. Then he told me something interesting. He said his patients on the east coast (eg. New York) are very adamant about doing Amnios but the further west of the USA, the more people don't care to do Amnios and are more apt to 'go with the flow'. And Hawaii is very much on the west of the country and are even more laid back. If the baby is known to have a birth defect, they would deal with it when it was born, since it would most likely just add mental stress to a situation they cannot change. I also learnt that the latest time an abortion can be conducted is in the 22nd month in Hawaii. Every state is different.
                He said there was an instance when a couple chose to do an Amnio and found out that the baby would not survive long after birth. The baby in fact only lived for six hours before dying. The family were prepared for it and were grateful for the precious few hours to spend with the baby. Another family chose not to know. When their baby died soon after birth, they were angry because they did not expect to have so little time and felt cheated. Sometimes in life, the biggest question we will have to ask ourselves is, "To know or not to know?".

Maternity Tour

We went for a Maternity Tour at Kapiolani Hospital today. It's the best maternity hospital in the Pacific so I'm feeling pretty well taken care of. It was nice to be brought to one of the delivery rooms as well as a recovery room where the mother and newborn are kept under surveillance for 48 hours before discharge. It was nice to see a couple newborns too though I couldn't take pictures. Couldn't believe how big they are when just born! Cool to see all the machinery to monitor contractions, heartbeats, labor conditions. It's amazing how high tech things are nowadays. 

The delivery room with the adjustable chair for sitting or squatting for labor

Baby cleaning area within the same delivery room 

Sign Language

I love learning new languages. It's something I've just discovered in my thirties. I had the experience of a lifetime learning Mandarin in China. It opened all sorts of doors for me to communicate with people I would never come close to, let alone understanding a whole new mindset and being humbled by the grace and patience of new friends. 


I've just now started sign language classes. At first, I saw it as another language that would be cool to master as some level to be able to communicate with yet another group of people I share this planet with. That was the only result I was hoping for. Now, barely a month after starting my classes, I find myself enjoying the course of learning more and more. It's opened me to another whole new world of people and form of communicating. 


As with any other language, the deaf and hard of hearing have a communication culture of their own too. I'm realizing so many things I take for granted as a speaking person. For one thing, there are a lot less taboos. Unlike speaking people who pick and choose to say things, I feel like the hearing impaired are more free in expressing words. In a way, it's more innocent and straightforward, with a lot less fear of 'innuendos' inherent in words and the communication less complicated. For example, it's perfectly fine to ask someone their age, if they're married or if their parents are also deaf.  I've been humbled when signing with a deaf friend and wasn't able to understand her signing until the third time and when I realized it, I was quite embarrassed but she wasn't phased at all. Not a single friendly snigger or laugh at my incompetency. I feel they're so much more patient than speaking people like me who have somewhat learnt this bad habit of being easily irritated when we're not understood immediately. 

The Proposal

the lei Elton presented the ring to me with. It's made of Pikake, a local Jasmine flower, my favorite 

The proposal. Such a simple word but so complex in meaning, filled with nervous hope and future dreams. I've heard of many kinds before from close friends. Some were simple and conversational decisions. Others, unexpected surprises - some funny, some heart warming. I always thought mine would be a mutual decision. I'd found the man I know I'd like to be with for the rest of my life. I felt it doesn't really matter anymore, especially at this age. But today, Elton surprised me today in a way I never expected. 

We were leaving for Chicago tomorrow so we had both just finished packing and preparing to get to the airport the next morning at 4:30am. I was exhausted. Just as I jumped into bed, I realized there was still a mound of laundry sitting on the bed. Slightly irritated, and feeling a migraine coming on, I began folding, looking forward to the moment I could crash onto the bed and check out for the night. Elton walked in to the room and said he needed to go to the airport to see an old friend Miko from Japan, who was in transit for 10 minutes and wanted to meet me. I muttered, "Sorry, I'm too tired. You go ahead." He began begging me to go. Each time, I refused. This went on for about 15 minutes. Then suddenly, he got on his knees, took out the most beautiful ring I'd seen and said, "Would you marry me?". Dumbfounded, I stared at him. Then he explained that he had wanted to take me to the airport's International terminal and propose to me there, where we had first met when I landed in Hawaii. For the first time ever, I was speechless. I couldn't find the right words to say as all kinds of emotions welled up within me. For some reason, I just threw my arms around him and just began to sob. "I guess it's a Yes then?", he said. I just laughed. We laughed for a while. Then I pleaded with him to take me to the airport and propose to me again in front of people on his knees. To my exasperation, he said, "Nah! You spoilt the moment already!". 

It's funny how sometimes, we are unaware of the things that really can break us down until it actually happens. It was a simple moment. But I have never felt so much love for someone at that moment. God has been so good to me bringing someone into my life at a time I least expected it. I guess the best moments often happens when we least expect it.

Tinting a car

For some reason, I've always wished I knew more about cars, especially about pulling them apart and seeing how it all works. Elton has been talking about tinting my car for a while. With the Hawaiian heat, it's quite a necessity which blocks out more than 90% of the UV rays besides keeping the car a lot cooler in the sun. The best part was it only cost us $35 rather than $200 if we had a tint shop do it. Took us 3 hours in total. Surprisingly, it also gave the car a sportier, somewhat more expensive look too. And I found great satisfaction in knowing we did it ourselves. 


Part 1: Disassemble the car door. It was a lot easier than I thought. Just unscrew a couple screws and snap the door out then unplug the two electrical cords. We used the 35% tint which is the darkest legally allowed for front windscreens.

Part 2: measure out the tinting sheet, spray water so it stays against the window, cut out the shape against the window with a blade and squeegee (bought at an auto store for $5). The tricky part is to make sure not to cut the rubber sides of the window with the blade. Peeling the tint sheet apart from the adhesive sheet proved to be a real task. Had we read the instructions, we would've discovered all we had to do was pull the pieces apart with two pieces of tape on each side.

 Part 3: spray the tint sheet as it's pulled off the adhesive sheet, place the tint up against the window (make sure window is thoroughly sprayed wet), adjust it to fit, use the squeegee and quickly scrape the sheet against the window until all air bubbles are pushed out to the corners. This part is a little tricky as we had to move fast before the water dries. Had to keep spraying the water as we adjusted the tint to fit the window but making sure not to kink the tinting sheet.

Voila! Final product looked fabulous! I wouldn't say it was terribly hard but it is doable if you like playing with cars...plus it's a whole lot cheaper!

Mokule'ia Beach

I went to the last beach area I've not been to on Oahu today called Mokule'ia. This is probably one of the most undeveloped area I've seen on Oahu. It reminded me a lot of Kauai and Molokai islands with how remote it was. The air here is so fresh, it put Elton and I into a sleepy lull. The wind was strong today which draws out the surfers onto the big waves. There were lots of kite surfers here today. They basically hold on to a kite while jumping off waves on a surf board. It's pretty wild to watch. I had a good time snapping shots of them.

Mokuleia beach on the north west side of Oahu

plenty of Kite surfers on this beach today

Two harness belts go around the waist which pulls the body weight with the kite

The kite surfer to the left is airborne while the other one is surfing on the water

This guy jumped off as the wind pulled his kite up and was in the air for about 3 full seconds 

Trying to capture these tiny quick runners along the sand

This little guy was cute. Its colors camouflages perfectly with the sand here

Further west to the northwest tip of Oahu is Ka'ena Point Park. The terrain here is rougher and more remote. There's no beaches here but a great place to sit and take in the sea, sun and sand.

'Malama Da Aina' in Hawaiian means Care for the Land. 

The landscape looking west towards the northwest tip of the island 

The mountain range looking west towards the northwest tip of the island