Siblings

Both my parents come from big families. My mother has nine siblings and my father has seven. My generation is the complete opposite. I only have one brother and most of my cousins are also from families with only two children. The annoying constant that remains though is the perpetuation of complicated fragmented relationships. As I've gotten older, it's been somewhat comforting though saddening to realize that this is quite the norm rather than the exception. I know very few people who manage to foster good relationships with their siblings. It's somewhat puzzling to think that someone who came from the same womb and share the same DNA can be so different in thinking, personalities and have trouble seeing eye-to-eye on things. There are exceptions to the rule. My beau's relationship with his siblings is one such. When I watch them interact I find myself pondering on what they are doing differently that makes it work. It's beautiful to see families that get along. It warms my heart to hear them laughing together. Is it a local Hawaiian mentality which is less superficial than the general American population? Is it because families live in much closer proximity here purely by default of the expensive cost of living? I doubt that it's merely a product of good parenting. Perhaps it's because people here are much more family oriented and somehow grasp the notion of family much better.  

Perhaps the secret is this. It starts with being kind to each other. They aren't petty about money. They don't see each other often but are respectful of each other's privacy and their doors are always open. They openly talk about each other's strengths and laugh about similarities in each other. They're not judgmental. They're self deprecating and modest. There's no power plays. It probably doesn't hurt that they're all pretty laid back and share similar hobbies. I feel privileged to witness it. It's somewhat humbling. Almost healing. It's the way things should be.  It's interesting how such simple rules can be so difficult and sometimes, downright impossible to apply with people who are so much a part of us.